The time has come and I had no preparation for that. May God gives me strength for tomorrow.

Assalamualaikum :)

Dah lama rasanya tak menulis kat belog ni. Last post pun pasal merdeka pada 31 Ogos 2010. Today is 29 September 2010. sebulan jugak tak update belog kan. agak sibuk, kalau ada free time pun, memang ada kerja lain yang nak dibuat. huhu

Harini rasa tergerak nak tulis sebab nak luahkan semua benda yang ada dalam hati, walaupun tak semua, at least 70%. because I trust nobody more than 50%. that's humans, they cannot be trusted!

After going the journey for almost 2 months, the time has come. after happiness, there is always sadness. I remember I was very happy when I came to this university, met new-really-good-friends, with new spirit and new environment. but i totally forgot, during that time, I am supposed to be prepared to face challenging and difficult days.

and now the time has come.

For the past few days, I have been so stressed up plus with unstable emotions. I don't know, maybe it was because of the medication (oh yea, I am under some treatment). But, I don't know, after I came here, I have totally changed! I am not the old me.

I am trying very hard to control my emotions and my feelings but somehow it affects my health. I got really sick and I can't focus on my studies. I keep reminding myself to be more matured, but then I realize, I am only 19, too small to think about the problems and too small to be a worrying type.

All past memories keep coming to my mind especially when I am about to go to sleep, then my tears would accompany me the whole night. I kinda upset with the situation and I really don't understand with some people who never thinks of other people.

Luckily the one and only question that have been living with me all these while never came up to my mind when thinking about this problem -- Why are all these happening? because I can never find the answer but end up disappointed.

Right now, I really miss those two months with my classmates, they are the best classmates I've ever had. I miss the moments where I can freely talk, I can freely smile, I can freely laugh and I can freely make jokes. I really miss them! :'(

 I have lost someone who is great in my life. I have lost somebody who is very good to me. I have lost someone who is always stand firm to find truth. I have lost someone who never scared of being himself. I have lost someone who is supposed to be well-respected. I have lost him!

I don't know about my future days, I don't know what is going to happen to me. I can just pray I am strong enough to live tomorrow.

I really gonna miss this whole class. I can't even imagine we can live without him. I really pray that God will give me strength to live for tomorrow. :'(